Readjustments

Learning time and time again how to recognize my limits and readjust my goals.

I am not invincible.

This is not Joanne vs. paper, or Joanne vs. sleep, or Joanne vs... anything, really. Listening to myself (with a disgruntled heart). I need rest. I need to make things easier sometimes.

I can't help but feel a little bit saddened, like I'm giving up, or not capitalizing on this amazing opportunity, or wasting other people's time and energy (not to mention $$$).

Somewhere along the way though, I had forgotten completely about the process, and focused entirely on the product; ironically playing testament to the sort of thing I'm criticizing in my thesis. In fact, I am wasting my own time and energy, trying to do the impossible in the next three weeks: stay sane, love others, and take care of myself.

Time for readjustment. There isn't enough time to regret the fire of the fall that withered into stagnant ash during winter quarter. I don't have time for that! So onward -- writing, writing, writing.

So, okay. I can do this. Maybe it will be 40 instead of 60. Or 30 even. (NO! Okay, I can do 40.) That is okay. I will write a book another day, if I really want to.

Readjustment is important. Humility is important. Still learning, all the time, to set my sights on different moons.