Creepy crawly

Sometimes, insecurity is a fun and curious thing that one can't help but lapse into when faced with unfamiliar situations...or boredom.

Today I noticed a girl in my class who was left-handed. Not a big deal, right? But all of a sudden I found myself far too aware of my own, common right-handedness and its frightening unoriginality. I kept thinking, how much more interesting would I be, if only I wrote with my left hand! Imagine the sort of subconscious arousal that would stir among the common observer! If I were as extraordinary as this left-handed girl, I could charm anyone I met! Imagine: without a thought, I would tuck a stray hair behind my ear (with my left hand, of course), playfully gesturing to all spectators (on my left side, of course), look, look at my left ear! I would radiate among a crowd of un-noteworthy right-handed folk, all too generous with their rash displays of right-ears! I would conquer the world!

I also noticed that she had a large mole on her left shoulder, which to the common eye may seem boring, revolting, even, but I found myself envious of this seemingly trivial characteristic that seemed to have voluntarily sprouted, just for the sake of pairing with her distinctive left-handedness. Now, I have plenty of unsymmetrical details and flaws, but none of which had I found as charming as the mole on that girl's left shoulder! Why can't I have a mole, positioned right above my shoulder blade, so as to say, "Hello, aren't you intrigued?"

I found myself rotating through a cycle of jealousy/anger/insecurity/boredom for an hour and a half, enraged about all things wrong with my body, furious that they would never be adorable/mysterious "quirks"!

Then, just when I felt I couldn't resist the urge to grab the pencil out of the left-handed girl's fist and throw it at the wall, I realized the stark contrast between my café-con-leche skin tone and the strikingly pale areas near my knuckles where my rings used to be.